What a surprise to discover we had been living off balance our whole lives, and she handed us the opportunity of harmony.
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“Truthfully, I was nervous about the appointment to begin with and I am saddened that my apprehensions were validated during our visit”
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After a particularity hard doctor appointment, I felt upset and angry and needed to put it somewhere. productive. It showed up as these words, my anthem for now.
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The grace I can offer to each and every one of you who is new to this feeling, is with acknowledging that you are swimming in uncharted waters of isolation. I can meet you where you are, sinking into a shade of blue you haven’t known before, with an outstretched hand that knows better than to judge anyone in vulnerability.
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I specifically show you this image, and chose my words wisely. I call it a portrait of a Mother & her Son, not, a portrait of a Bereaved mother. Because while Bereaved is what I am, the gravity of this role is lost in phrasing, and you don’t truly see the weight I carry unless I show it to you.
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You are not in my arms, but you are everywhere else.
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A family receiving care at Canuck Place Children’s Hospice is there to learn about, and tend to, the letting go of their child. What could be a more important or enormous task in life?
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When will you believe that life with her is amazing?
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Guest Writer Lisa Wallace
What I didn’t know when we first started on this journey that I now know is that she has been a far greater teacher to me than I have been to her.
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Image by Photos by Eryca
I stayed behind in the sorrow, thinking that was where I could be with you, thinking that was our only place of commonality.
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I’ll answer your question, the one deep inside that you’re afraid to ask out loud. I’m going to answer it now, clearly and definitively. I’ll answer it loudly so it resonates with you all your days, and when the time comes - if you feel it as truly as I do - you will pass it along to the mama who comes next.
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The messaging we give to each other is to buck up - it was hard for me, now it’s hard for you.
Around and around it goes.
There are too many moments of heartbreak wrapped up in this day, too many startling memories that leave me breathless. Too many moments I’ll never share, not ever. Perhaps that’s the way I’m made, a woman who carries it all deep within, my inner workings fueled by heartbreak as equally as joy.
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“These bloom in April every year” he said. “Sometimes at the start, sometimes at the end, you’ll never really know. But it will bloom in April” and he left us to choose.
It will bloom in April.
The month of our boy.
And I want to reach across the void and touch her with my hand, and tell her what I finally know to be true.
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Written by Guest Blogger, Adelle Purdham
Oreo saw who I was before our daughter Elyse came into my life, and she saw the person I grew into afterwards. Oreo oversaw my education of what it means to be human and to embrace the human spirit in all its uniqueness. She watched me grow as a person and become the mother of three lively girls, an advocate and a writer.
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Photo by Roberta McLean Photography
This is not forced, these are not words I say because I have to...
THIS the truth about the diagnosis - she is incredible.
Photo By Jayme Lang
A true love story - a really great one - has an incredible beginning, and an unforgettable end. In any great love story there is joy, happiness and bliss. And, in any great love story, there is heartbreak.
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