The Unexpected Finding

To find you here, in the happiest of moments, the best days, gives me a feeling of content I can’t explain. ⁣
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Slowly, I’ve been noticing you mixed in with my happy, like a pie baked with all the uncertain leftovers and then sweetened to perfection, you are here wrapped in it all. ⁣
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I turned around smiling today, lost in a wonderful moment, and you were there waiting. Not a heavy weight of you, not strained or dampening, but a gentle knowing that you exist here, too. ⁣
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And you are welcome.⁣
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Your memory has been so deeply kneaded into sad moments and days of struggle, over time I’ve thought you could only be mine when my heart is breaking. But you’re showing me - always teaching me - that you live in happiness, you blossom in goodness, and you fit here in the joy much easier than I thought possible.⁣
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How strange and wonderful that my grief can ripen in happiness, that it can grow and fill into the empty spaces where sorrow can’t reach, and you easily sit balanced on laughter instead of tears. ⁣
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I stayed behind in the sorrow, thinking that was where I could be with you, thinking that was our only place of commonality. ⁣

I had no idea there would be joy in my grief.
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My boy, I didn’t know you would be here in the happiness, and I’m so wonderfully grateful to meet you here.⁣